Sexual Activity: Victoria Era Vs. Modern Day
Photo by Simon Howden
In the Victorian era, sexual intercourse was a practice only considered socially acceptable in order to procreate. Sexual desires were accepted for men, but considered not virtuous for women. In fact, promiscuity was thought to be a sign of national decay. Early love manuals encourage intercourse for pleasure, but caution readers to refrain from intercourse too frequently because many thought too much sexual activity could be harmful insofar as to say it caused cancer, heart conditions and hysteria. Sexual activity acceptance took an even bigger hit in the 1840s after Sylvester Graham claimed in his writings that women experienced no need or want for sexual pleasure and that they did not care about sex in marriage. Other manuals upheld the idea of “marital continence” or the practice of a couple (husband & wife) choosing to abstain from any sexual indulgence in any form. Those women who did seek sexual fulfillment were seen to be leading lives that were not God-filled.
One of the few who challenged the belief that women had no need for sexual experiences was physician Elizabeth Blackwell who believed that a female’s lack of sexual lust came from a fear of injury or death during childbirth and that women were passive due to the fact that men would be rushed to perform quickly leaving women without satisfaction or fulfillment. Other doctors believed that at certain times a woman’s capacity for sexual pleasure was much greater and more intense and prolonged than a male’s.
A belief parroted in Alkaloidal Clinic (1891) declared that women’s lack of education made them believe sex to be immoral and indecent, resulting in a complete race of sexless women who could experience no pleasure during vaginal intercourse. This belief dominated society in the late 1800’s to the early 1900’s.
Change in society about female sexuality came with what was often referred to as the “sexual revolution.” Beginning in the 1950s with the writings of Simone De Beauvoir in which the importance of clitoral stimulation and sex purely for sexual pleasure was emphasized, these new ideas in combination with the women’s liberation movement were in stark contrast to Freudian beliefs that the vagina was the only source for sexual pleasure and orgasm.
Another firm step forward came in the 1960’s when living ideals were all about “sex, drugs & rock & roll.” By the 1970’s, premarital sex was becoming much more acceptable as a social norm. Because of the strides made in the 1960’s, it was finally acknowledged that men and women have an equal need for sexual fulfillment and pleasure.
Today, sex is much more openly accepted and even discussed frankly in society. Although we still have a long way to go in order to accept all the facets of sexuality, we have come an awful long way from chastity belts and clitoridectomy (removal of clitoris).
Intro to Tantric Sex
Beginning in India nearly 6,000 years ago, the art of Tantra emerged as a way to express rebellion against organized religion, wherein it was taught that sexuality should be rejected to obtain spiritual enlightenment. The word Tantra literally translates to mean “to manifest, to show, to expand.” In terms of sex, Tantra is said to expand one’s consciousness by connecting the opposites of male and female into a single harmonious being. Many believe that, aside from gaining a higher sense of enlightenment and revitalized sexual energy levels, one can improve their overall health through the practice of Tantra. Backed by M.D.’s, studies show that since the art of tantra aims to prolong sexual activity, it also lowers stress hormones and releases large amounts of serotonin (AKA the “happiness hormone”) into the body, which naturally produces a feeling of contentment and well being. Aside from the usual happiness serotonin produces, it also regulates mood (hence the happiness), sleep, appetite, and more. As if this is not enough evidence to prove that tantra can be beneficial not only to your sex life and your overall well being, but it is also said to deepen the connection and intimate bond between partners, thereby creating happier, more fulfilled relationships. If that’s not enough to convince you, many claim Tantric practices leave them full of energy. Now, who doesn’t want more of that?!
New to Tantra?
Try these Techniques!
- Create an Intimate Atmosphere: Establish a place in which to practice tantra with your partner, whether it’s your bedroom or another room in your home. Be sure to make this room comfortable and cozy including candles, flowers with a nice scent or incense, soft sheets and lots of pillows and perhaps some relaxing music to set the mood.
- Breathing Techniques: Tantra practices advice beginners to begin by having one partner sit on their partner’s lap, facing one another, and work on synchronizing their breathing. Some believe breathing in at the same time and out at the same time is better while others advice one partner to breathe in while the other exhales and so on. My advice: See what works for you and go with that.
- Slow, Drawn Out Foreplay: I know, I know, it’s not everyone’s favorite thing to do, especially if you’re looking for the end result, but in terms of tantric sex, the end result should not be the focus. In fact, enjoying the ride and prolonging the experience are definitely the focus. In fact, foreplay allows for tension and sensations to build more slowly, prolonging the experience on a whole for both parties.
- Eyes Wide Open: Yes, it is what you think it is. You know how everyone usually kisses with their eyes closed? Not in Tantra. In tantric sex, the goal is to connect with your partner on a deeper level and this is emphasized by looking into the eyes of one another throughout the experience. It may weird you out in the beginning, but a few glances here and there should suffice if you’re uncomfortable. Remember to accept your partner with open arms and no judgment; seeing them and being seen can be difficult, but facilitated by creating a relaxed and open environment and attitude.
Good Luck!
Sex Positions From Around the World
Every country in the world seems to have it’s own take on sexual practices, rituals and yes, even sexual positions made popular by them. From England to India (of course) and even in China, every country seems to have at least one sexual position to their name. Sex positions are a lot of fun and, while everyone has their personal favorite, we usually do not think about the origin of said positions nowadays in our melting pot society. So which countries should be credited for coming up with their respective popular sexual positions, most of which we still do today? Read on for the origin of 7 popular sexual acts!
1. 69 Oral Pleasure: You can thank France for giving us this erotically fun act (among others), made popular in the mid-16th century.
2. Doggie Style AKA From the Rear: Lie back and think of the Queen as this position became popular and well known in the 18th century England, along with other scandalous acts of debauchery happening in the brothels and at court. Better not get caught doing this little naughty act as punishments for this included anything from 3 years of penance or being shipped off to the nearest convent to death, especially if done out of wedlock or caught having an affair!
3. French Kissing: I’m pretty sure you can guess where this one came from. The act of kissing with open mouths and tongue interaction came from France where it is better known as ‘baiser amoureux’ or in slang, as a ‘patin’ or ‘galoche.’ Although considered inappropriate and even taboo in some parts of the world to be done publicly, this is one of the most commonly practiced acts of affection in the world.
4. Rocking Sitting Position: Surprisingly, this sex position arose to popularity in Arabia. A reader favorite for it’s ability to stimulate both partners, the exotic Rocker sitting position is done by facing your partner and straddling their lap (or vice versa) while rocking back and forth to ecstasy.
5. The Missionary Position: Enacted by various countries and peoples for over a millennia, it appears in various artwork pieces around the world including countries such as Japan, China, Peru, Rome & India.Various myths and cultural beliefs exist to explain each country/civilization’s use of this position as seen in the Chinese belief that women are born face up and men are born face down.
6. Balanced Front Entry Position: Of course this idea of balance in a sexual position was enacted in China! Done by facing your partner feet first and entering the female this way by balancing her on top of the male lap during insertion. What a perfect physical display of chan! (Contrary to popular belief, chan is the Chinese word that refers to a meditative state commonly referred to as Zen by many people, which is actually a Japanese word.)
7. Stand & Deliver Position: The incredibly innovative and proud Basques of Spain came up with this one and rightfully so as the position is done with both partners standing, facing one another, as equals. No word yet on the accuracy of that claim, but it’s nice to think of the mysterious Basques as being ahead of the trends.
Click Here For Ancient Sexual Methods
Fun Fact! Did you know the use of dildos and other penis shaped items for sexual pleasure has been prevalent since the middle ages? The origin of the word dildo is not clear, but it is thought to have come from the original expression “dilldough” which referred to a loaf of bread made with dill.Other theories of its origin include a phallus shaped peg that locks an oar in place on a small boat or possibly an adjusted form of the Italian term ‘diletto,’ which means delight. Whatever it’s true origin is we may never know, but we have to thank them for such naughty brilliance as it has truly lasted through the ages!
Click Here to Check out Which Sex Positions Burn the Most Calories!
Ancient Sexual Methods: Sex Facts of the Egyptians, Romans & Others You Won’t Hear on the History Channel…
"Sex is Like An Octopus"
Quote on Sex from St. Augustine
“Lord, grant me chastity and continence… but not yet.”
Since ancient times, human kind has adopted rituals & practices for everything sexual from contraception to various aphrodisiacs and other methods of staying beauty and preserving vanity as well as cures for impotence, penis enlargement methods and more. As far back as 1850 B.C., we’ve practiced various methods of contraception such as one including the use of a device made of crocodile dung in Egypt and an acidic cocktail of fruits, nuts & wool used as a sperm barrier in Rome. The same goes for aphrodisiacs, beauty methods and even penis enlargement.
Ancient Greek Sex
Here Are Some Ancient Methods You May Not Know About:
- In 1850 B.C. Egyptian paintings, practices describe a mechanism made of crocodile dung and dough that is place in a woman’s vagina to be used as a contraceptive. Apparently, it is said these ingredients likely created a very hostile environment for sperm. They also used other ingredients such as acacia, gum & honey which were made into plugs and placed in the vagina.
- Ancient Greeks had a fondness for using aphrodisiacs to get themselves in the mood for sexual romance. A common aphrodisiac was garlic & cheese mixed with wine. Each aphrodisiac was supposed to pay homage to Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty & love. Other aphrodisiacs loved by the Greeks also include onions, mushrooms and leek.
- Cleopatra was said to have been the most beautiful woman of her time; it is said that she bathed in milk and honey and applied aloe to her skin.
- Believed to have began in the Middle East probably hundreds of years ago, the ancient technique of “Jelquing” was a method in which the male massages the penis in a “milking” fashion. This is said to allow the penis to hold a greater amount of blood during an erection which, if practiced regularly, will result in a permanent increase in length and girth.
- In Ancient Rome, a mixture of highly acidic fruits, nuts & wool were placed into a woman’s vagina on the cervix to provide a barrier against sperm.
- In ancient Inca, female libido enhancements were being made by crushing various herbs in order to assist men in the seduction of supposed frigid women.
Other Ancient Erotic & Even Kinky Paintings:
Sex Painting from Ancient India
Ancient Kama Sutra Painting
Watch Special:”Sex in the Ancient World”
(Hosted on YouTube)
Starting with this video, part I of the Sex in the Ancient World tells us of ancient sexual practices all over the world. This is really fascinating, not just in terms of sex, but in terms of history. You are likely to discover we aren’t so different from civilizations 1,000 years ago.