Male dominance can be an intimidating thing, especially if you’re in a long term relationship and have never tried it.

As a woman, it’s not always easy to take the reins in the bedroom.

We battle with the usual stereotypes and stigmas that women should be submissive, subservient and obedient all the time in life, let alone thinking of taking charge where intimacy is concerned.

I mean, unless you are absolutely born with that sort of “take charge” attitude ingrained in your personality (some lucky women are!), then the idea of dominating your lover may completely terrify you, but I am here to give you fun reasons why you absolutely should at least ONCE!

I know, I know, this is pretty intimidating if a) you haven’t done it before or b) your completely freaked out by it given your upbringing.

Either of these reasons are common and that’s nothing to worry about. I, myself, was raised to be a modest, good girl with great manners and a calm disposition. The most important thing in this is to let go and reserve judgment. Acceptance and love will literally set you free sexually. And I’m here to tell you that this is TOTALLY and COMPLETELY OKAY!

In fact, if you’re love life has taken a hit recently or is getting a bit stale, I would definitely recommend it!

You may be surprised at the results.

Here’s why:

• Your boyfriend/husband definitely wants you to. Take this:  My boyfriend and I have been together going on 5 years and up until a few months ago, he always initiated in the bedroom. I often felt myself wanting to take charge, but then I always froze up. The usual stereotypes run through your mind – “Good girls don’t do that!” or “My mother didn’t raise me to behave that way!” The list goes on and on and I kept freaking myself out until my resolve completely died and I, inevitably, choked. Later, once I got over myself and out of my own head, I finally took charge. Not only was it incredibly liberating and sexually pleasurable for both of us, but I later discovered my boyfriend had been waiting for me to take control for ages as he’s really into that. Had I never taken the plunge, I would never know. Since then, not only has our sex life improved exponentially, but we have better communication than ever before.

• Kill Old Stereotypes & Subservient Sex Positions. When I spoke with a friend of mine who is a bit of a dominatrix about taking charge in the bedroom, she gave some pretty sound advice – “The whole idea of constant missionary is ancient history. The stone age is in the past so keep it there. While I don’t think you should have to take control all the time if that’s not really your thing and I quite enjoy missionary every now and again, I do think couples could absolutely benefit from a change up where safe and sexual fun is concerned. Just make sure there is strong communication and non-judgment practices. That’s my motto, anyhow.” Then she proceeded to give me advice on the proper way to flog, which I’ll get into another time ;-), but anyhow. My point is that as long as you communicate with your partner and listen to what both parties want, you should have a great erotic experience.

• It Is Sexually Liberating. Not only is playing dominatrix or even just taking charge a bit more in bed a great way to liberate your own sexual desires, but it can also liberate your significant other’s sexual fantasies as well. Doing something wild in bed allows the channels of communication between partners to be freed and each person can freely voice their desires without the fear of backlash. How great is it to be able to speak openly to one another about what you really want without judgment ? I can tell you from experience that you won’t regret it.

All in all, communication is key. Either you are the spontaneous type who can surprise your lover by taking charge during the action or maybe you want to talk it over beforehand. If you’re unsure where you stand, you can always test the waters by asking your partner what it is they like in bed or if they are interested in domination and submission roles or otherwise if they enjoy taking charge or vice versa. However you want to vocalize that is your choice and, if all else fails and this is not the fun for you, there are plenty other avenues of erotic enjoyment for you and your partner to travel along.

Good Luck!

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