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Monthly Archives: March 2011

Prostitution: Victorian Vs. Modern Times

Prostitution is arguably the oldest profession in the history of human kind. It has been employed since before the time of Christ and is still very much alive today. In fact it has played a large part in women sexuality from Victorian times until now. Although outlawed in many countries today, prostitution still occurs either legally under government control or illegally under the radar. Is prostitution less risky today than it was in the 1900’s? You decide.

In Victorian times, prostitution was not a chosen profession. Actually, it was essentially forced upon young girls and women as a way to earn money to stay off the streets if they were homeless, unemployed, unmarried, orphaned or otherwise left helpless in the days when women could not own property or work any legitimately well paid jobs other than seamstresses, maids, and other low service positions. A mostly controlled profession, prostitutes usually resided in brothels underneath madams who upheld the house and gave room & board as well as food and clothing to them for working within.

Despite this profession being a last resort to many women, society still viewed the existence of prostitution as a contribution to the decline of morality and often referred to prostitutes as Magdalenes or whores. Ridiculously enough, it was also seen as a necessary evil because it was thought to be less harmful for men to engage in sex without love.

Today, prostitution still seems to be seen as a decline in morality and society as a whole, but is not so easily acceptable for men to engage with prostitutes as in the 18th century. Considered illegal in many parts of the world today, prostitution might be seen as more dangerous today than in the past due to the fact that there is little to no control over the market, the clients, nor the prostitutes themselves who often turn “tricks” to sustain a drug habit as well as the fact that STD’s are more prevalent and varying today than in the past. Prostitution today is sometimes seen as a woman’s right to control her sexuality and is more often a choice today than it was in the Victorian era.

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Homosexuality:Victorian Vs. Modern Times

Homosexuality has been the subject of controversy for hundreds of years, perhaps more. Existing since the dawn of man, it seems that many societies including those in Victorian times viewed homosexuality negatively. In the mid to late-1800’s, homosexuality was seen as the practices of a “sinner” and was thought to only be practiced by men, although we know that is likely to be very untrue. After the late 1800’s, there was a shift in society’s opinion on homosexuals from being dubbed “sinners” to being thought of as “social deviants” or “perverts.” But as I will repeat again, in the words of Lady Gaga, “A different lover is not a sin, believe capital H-I-M.”

Up until the 1980s, homosexuality was seen as a sickness caused by a weak father and a controlling or dominant mother. Since the 1980’s, many strides have been made to change the public view of homosexuals and their lives with the creation of many AIDS alliance and assistance programs, LGBT organization, legalization of gay marriage AKA same sex union in many countries and in the U.S. only in certain states, and most importantly, more of an acceptance of the homosexual community as a whole by the general public.

Although it is true that we have come a long way in LGBT rights, we still have a very long way to go in achieving equality for the homosexual community as a whole and it seems an even longer way to go in achieving an accepting view on LGBT communities from society as a whole.

Still widely disputed today, homosexuals, both male and female, experience many hardships in their daily lives including religious exile, bans from child adoptions, and, in some cases, shaming and harassment from various members of society.

I urge every reader to open their hearts and minds to accepting LGBT as a way of life that is not a choice for someone, but in the words of the brilliant Lady Gaga, they were “born this way.”

5 Things You Didn’t Know About Homosexuality:

  • The word “homosexual” is a term disliked by the gay community for it defines the person’s orientation, not them as a person on the whole.
  • Other derivatives of the word homosexual used throughout history: Homophile (1960), Homo-erotic (1916), Homophobe (1970’s), Homophobia (1969), and Homos (1930’s).
  • Homosexuality was very common in early B.C. Greece, Egypt, & Roman societies. In Greece in particular, sexual orientation was not something clearly defined or frowned upon and was not used as a social identifier as it is in present day Western societies.
  • Homosexuality is common among many animals, both domestic and wild, including dogs, birds, cats, etc.
  • The term homosexual has in the past only referred to men who are attracted to other men, but modernly refers to both men who are attracted to men and women who are attracted to other women.

To learn more about LGBT support and what you can do to learn more or help out in your community, please visit gaycenter.org for more information.

Don’t be a drag, just be a queen. 🙂

Masturbation: Victorian Vs. Modern Society

Hello Everyone!

I’m back this week with another edition of Victorian Naughtiness… or something of the like. This week’s topic is masturbation. What was the public opinion on the matter? Did people EVER masturbate or??

Find out more below!

In Victorian times, masturbation was seen as a downright moral disgrace. Completely shunned by society, masturbation was even believed to cause heart disorders, cancer and hysteria (hello! OBVIOUSLY this one is true ;). Some even claimed that while it may not cause the 3 former conditions (Wth? they don’t even know?), it would surely worsen an existing health concern. It would also, undoubtedly, lead to hopeless insanity that was inheritable by your offspring. So, ladies and gentleman, be wary of masturbation as it is literally a sickness that can be transferred to your children! (hehe, kidding!)

Lastly, in the rarest of cases, some women accused of masturbation were subject to clitoridectomy (removal of clitoris). In extreme and extremely rare cases, even children or babies thought to be touching themselves might be subjected to clitoridectomy (not sure why little boys and men never were; can you guess?) and forever shamed by society or sent to convents. In spite of it all, masturbation was most likely still practiced during this time although it was likely a VERY personal secret due to the serious consequences one subjected themselves to if caught in the act. It is even more likely that masturbation was rare, not due to lack of desire, but only due to fear of the repercussions.

Back to the present! Thank goodness, all that talk of clitoridectomy really freaks me out. Thankfully, in modern days, society frowns upon the act of clitoridectomy rather than encourages it. Nowadays, masturbation is much more acceptable and sometimes even openly discussed among peers. Sex has graciously become a topic widely discussed as the years rush on. Still, with all the open minds, there are small populations of people who still consider masturbation immoral and wrong, specifically certain religious sects who believe this practice to be a sin against God and a way to bring Satan into your life(I do not believe in this!). I have actually even found websites that claim masturbation to be harmful to the body which I believe is completely and totally false. Studies have shown that masturbation and sex are both physically beneficial to the body, the heart, and your immunity. Whatever your beliefs, I humbly beg you to visit a credible medical website (WebMD is a good one!) or contact your primary physician with your concerns.

Tune in Soon for Another Edition of Victorian Vs. Modern Society!

Click Here to Read Sex In Victorian Times Vs. Today!

Sexual Activity: Victoria Era Vs. Modern Day

Photo by Simon Howden

In the Victorian era, sexual intercourse was a practice only considered socially acceptable in order to procreate. Sexual desires were accepted for men, but considered not virtuous for women. In fact, promiscuity was thought to be a sign of national decay. Early love manuals encourage intercourse for pleasure, but caution readers to refrain from intercourse too frequently because many thought too much sexual activity could be harmful insofar as to say it caused cancer, heart conditions and hysteria. Sexual activity acceptance took an even bigger hit in the 1840s after Sylvester Graham claimed in his writings that women experienced no need or want for sexual pleasure and that they did not care about sex in marriage. Other manuals upheld the idea of “marital continence” or the practice of a couple (husband & wife) choosing to abstain from any sexual indulgence in any form. Those women who did seek sexual fulfillment were seen to be leading lives that were not God-filled.

One of the few who challenged the belief that women had no need for sexual experiences was physician Elizabeth Blackwell who believed that a female’s lack of sexual lust came from a fear of injury or death during childbirth and that women were passive due to the fact that men would be rushed to perform quickly leaving women without satisfaction or fulfillment. Other doctors believed that at certain times a woman’s capacity for sexual pleasure was much greater and more intense and prolonged than a male’s.

A belief parroted in Alkaloidal Clinic (1891) declared that women’s lack of education made them believe sex to be immoral and indecent, resulting in a complete race of sexless women who could experience no pleasure during vaginal intercourse. This belief dominated society in the late 1800’s to the early 1900’s.

Change in society about female sexuality came with what was often referred to as the “sexual revolution.” Beginning in the 1950s with the writings of Simone De Beauvoir in which the importance of clitoral stimulation and sex purely for sexual pleasure was emphasized, these new ideas in combination with the women’s liberation movement were in stark contrast to Freudian beliefs that the vagina was the only source for sexual pleasure and orgasm.

Another firm step forward came in the 1960’s when living ideals were all about “sex, drugs & rock & roll.” By the 1970’s, premarital sex was becoming much more acceptable as a social norm. Because of the strides made in the 1960’s, it was finally acknowledged that men and women have an equal need for sexual fulfillment and pleasure.

Today, sex is much more openly accepted and even discussed frankly in society. Although we still have a long way to go in order to accept all the facets of sexuality, we have come an awful long way from chastity belts and clitoridectomy (removal of clitoris).

The Importance of An Open Mind In Your Relationship

Many times throughout the years I find myself exploring new and exciting things in life, sexual and non-sexual of course, and it has always been with the support of my better half that I am able to laugh and smile at the less comfortable moments in the learning process.

Sexual openness is very important in any relationship. I think it’s really essential to maintain an open mind and to suspend judgment when you and your partner are trying new things in bed or even simply expressing your ideas or sexual fantasies. I firmly believe that accepting your partner as they are, as a whole, is the way to obtain a truly happy and loving relationship in the long term. Your partner should be your partner in crime on the road to sexual and happiness fulfillment and you both should be prepared to laugh and support one another along the way.

Whether trying something new with your partner during sex or simply stepping out of your comfort zone and deciding to both go zip-lining when you’re afraid of heights to overcome a fear, it is important to remember that you’re in this life together.

I know it seems difficult to maintain an open thought process if the subject is something completely in left field in your mind, and to an extent perhaps you are better suited to someone else if the gap is too wide to relate, but I promise you might be glad you suspended judgment on your partner if in the end you find you might enjoy the suggestions they make for better love or even better life.

So whatever you do, remember to smile, laugh off the awkward moments and learn a little more each day.

It’s your time to shine.

6 Surprising Health Benefits of Oral Sex

Aside from the obvious pleasure gained from giving (& receiving!) oral sex with your partner, you may be surprised to find there are actually quite a bit of physical and psychological reasons you feel so great after pleasing your lover.

Here are a Few of the Most Surprising Benefits of Oral Sex:

  • Get in the Mood to Boost Your Mood! Did you know that semen actually serves as a mood stabilizer? So, that lift you’re feeling after pleasuring your partner isn’t simply a job well done satisfaction. You actually do FEEL better! Research suggests that semen may provide anti-depressant effects as it acts as an antagonist on depression. And more than that, it will completely lift you up as any form of sex has shown to boost self-esteem and confidence levels.
  • Get Your Blood Pumping to Lower the Pressure. Ahh, the numerous benefits of semen will have you rolling or reeling or both. Semen has been shown to lower blood pressure and calm you down, providing stress relief, better sleep and contentment.
  • Fight Disease & Illness For Both Parties.Yes, a shot of semen a day might just keep the doctor away. In fact, oral sex is beneficial to the health of both parties given that the more a man ejaculates, the lower his risk for colon and prostate cancer will be AND when a woman swallows a man’s semen, she lowers her risk for breast cancer.
  • Don’t Stress it. Having a bad day? No problem. Semen will literally relax you. If you’re stressed, research shows semen reduces stress 10 fold.
  • Immunity Boost Please! I know it might sound gross to some, but semen actually provides a good shot of zinc, calcium, potassium, various proteins and fructose which provides some nice health bonuses not to mention an immediate energy boost.
  • Heal My Heart. Did you know that sex may actually help protect the heart? Several experiments also show that the chemical oxytocin (released during sex) may even assist in healing wounds, including stubborn sores due to diabetes, by regenerating certain cells.
  • Cuddle Time! While lowering your stress levels and boosting your mood, oral sex also gets you in the mood to get intimate. Bonding and closeness are often felt during and after this fun sexual experience.

Side Notes: Did you know that oral sex is even mentioned in the Bible? Encouraged even as a way to stay chaste, oral sex is often referred to in the Song of Solomon and swallowing is encouraged in order to not “spill his seed upon the ground.” Crazy, ha?

So the next time you’re not in the mood to fool around, remind yourself of all you stand to gain!

Anal Fun 101

Dating all the way back to the Victorian era, anal play is considered by many to be taboo. Whether you’re using anal toys or simply performing anal sex or anal masturbation, many consider this to be uncleanly or unsafe.While there are some instances in which persons may engage in unsafe or uncleanly anal practices, it is possible for you and your partner to experience a perfectly clean and safe anal experience.

Anal toys are designed to be inserted into the anus to stimulate the small bunches of nerve endings and blood vessels located  in the anus. Useful to enhance both sexual intercourse and masturbation, anal fun can be just as pleasurable as vaginal sex and some even consider it more so.

The Facts:

The anus is filled with many very sensitive blood vessels and nerve endings that swell when one is aroused. When stimulated during arousal, the anal area is very sensitive to touch and stimulation. For women, the anus is located in close proximity to the vagina so when a woman is aroused, the vagina swells increasing blood flow to the whole area making anal stimulation very intense. Some consider even anal stimulation an extension of clitoral stimulation. For men, anal play is an entirely different sensation given that they may usually be the one penetrating during sexual activities. Anal penetration provides a different sexual experience for men as it stimulates the bulb of the penis and the prostate AKA the male g-spot. Many men are able to experience a full blown orgasm through prostate stimulation alone.

Misconceptions:

There are many misconceptions about anal play. One such misconception is if a man desires anal stimulation, then that makes him gay. This is entirely not true. A man who enjoys anal stimulation with a woman is simply seeking an extension of pleasure in a varying form. Begin homosexual is about being attracted to other men sexually and aiming to experience sexual activities with them, not with women. So, if your man wants to experience anal play with you, it’s simply a different form of pleasure that you both may share. Being gay is about who you’re attracted to and your own state of mind. Another common misconception is that the anus is very dirty and messy to play with. As long as both you and your partner have regular bowel movements and practice normal hygiene, then your body will do the rest. Your body actually releases a mucus during bowel movements that cleans the anus of most traces of fecal material. To ensure that little to no fecal matter is present during anal play, simply have a bowel movement at least one hour prior to anal fun and shower to ensure cleanliness. If preferred, condoms or latex gloves may also be implemented as an extra precaution.

Preparing for Anal Play:

2 words. Lubrication and Relaxation. The first thing one should do when attempting anal sex or the use of anal toys is to RELAX. You or your partner should be aroused and completely relaxed during this process. Also, since the anus has no natural lubrication method in the body, using a lubricant is absolutely necessary to prevent cuts, rips or tears in the anal area. Remember to take things slowly and if it hurts, you should stop, regroup and take your time until you are relaxed enough to where it no longer hurts. If you are having trouble relaxing, there are a number of anal sprays and lubricants on the market with relaxing or numbing ingredients such as benzocaine in them that will facilitate your anal fun. Using quality products is important during anal sex as well to minimize the odds of toys breaking during use or harming the anal cavity. This means that smooth surfaced toys should be used to ensure that no cuts, scrapes or tears occur during the use of the toy.

In the end, remember to have fun, keep and open mind and enjoy yourself. You may just find yourself in the throes of immense pleasure and ecstasy and how could that be wrong?

Here Are Some Great Anal Toys For Each Level:

Beginners:


Intermediate:


Advanced Anal Players:

Anal Butt Plug Penis Extension:

Anal Lubricant:

Anal Sprays: